Open Heart Surgery

I spent so much time putting you back together

just for someone to come along and rip each stitch I sewed

apart

In parts of you I had never known existed

I planted flowers where holes once were

he dug them up

the holes bigger than before

New pain has found its home

old pain resurfaced,

so I did what I know best

I grabbed my sewing kit

reached inside my chest

and began stitching you back up

In hopes that this will be the very last time I have to do so

Scattered Intentions

I dreamt of a love so wild

and pure

Each night before slumber,

slipping into a world of my own

Inviting sleep to take over my lonely body

pulling me into someone with a blank, nameless face

Countless nights spent dreaming the same dream

Except,

when the opportunity was placed in my hands

I struggled to keep hold of such a thing

letting it slip away

Completely unaware how difficult it is to hold two hearts on one leash

when they’re both going in different directions

at different paces

with the same intention

Journal #1

Hey guys…I’m really sorry that I haven’t been posting any of my writing lately. I need a bit of advice, hopefully a few of you can help.

I have been feeling very stuck lately with my writing. I feel like everything I write is terrible and the words do not flow well together. I also hate everything I’ve come up with and can’t seem to be pleased with anything I have written in the past few months. I’m sure this is a normal thing but I don’t know how to get out of it.

It is even more frustrating because I love everything I wrote when I was in a very dark place, and ever since I have been out of that place and so much happier I can’t seem to write anything decent(to my liking anyway).

I have a lot of thoughts going on in my mind, I think maybe I should start posting those instead of only poetry; which was part of my original idea when I created this blog. I wanted to be able to express the thoughts in my head but I always wanted them to be perfect and flow together and I realize that that is very unlikely considering my mind has felt like a puzzle missing a handful of pieces. I have decided to title these entries Journal # __. It’s very simple and if you decide they are not something you want to read you can easily scroll past. I also feel as though this is my journal because I have shared so many pieces of my writing from my journal on here for your eyes to see.

If anyone has any advice or peace of mind for me I would love to hear it. Thank you:)

Opportunity Cost

I missed this old pen

and tattered paper

I’ve miss the beautiful words I once so easily put together

Things this ever lasting smile has cost me

So I wished upon plenty stars for a reason to write

for when I was not very sleepy at night

My wish was his command and so that’s what he did

Giving me a reason to create feelings from letters formed into words into sentences

By taking away the only thing that was in its place

Happiness

 

Gone with the Wind

She spent her life falling in love with things she could never have

That’s why when he came along

fear took its toll

for all she had to do was snap her fingers

and he would be hers

That terrified her more than dreaming and hoping of a fairytale for eternity

So she kept him at arm’s length

Once she realized how wrong she had been

she started chasing

but he had been long gone

now she only had herself to blame